Irish Wedding 2 (Part 2)

To continue: we were leaving for the church at half past one. Rather than the bracing walk around the lake we had planned on after breakfast, we returned to bed.

The following occurs between 11.30am and 1.30pm on the day of Cara and Marek’s nuptial ceremony.

11.30: I get up and get in shower. Shower is vicious and unruly; cannot get it to work properly. Can only get cold water, which sprays all over bathroom. Shout into bedroom for Adam to come help.

11.33: No sign of movement from Adam. Wedge shower head under toilet seat and go into bedroom. Top of Adam’s head visible beneath duvet, heavy snoring audible.

11.34: Poke Adam awake and direct towards crisis situation now developing in bathroom.

11.35: After assessing situation Adam, in boxers and socks, climbs into bath. Curses aggressively as sprayed in face with needles of cold water. Takes hold of lever and turns clockwise. No change in temperature or pressure at which water is bursting out of shower head into nose and mouth. I look on. Adam continues to turn lever clockwise with left hand whilst trying to keep water out of face with right.

11.36: Some progress. Water two degrees warmer. Adam continues to turn lever.

11.37: Lever breaks off in Adam’s hand. Brown dirty water now spraying out of hole in wall. Adam curses some more, wedges lever back on. Angrily wrenches all taps and levers anticlockwise and throws bathmat out of bathroom.

11.38: Hot water arrives. I thank Adam and get in shower. Adam stomps off to bedroom.

11.55: Get out of shower. In bedroom find Adam sitting on floor watching football.

11.58: I suggest Adam shower now. This idea dismissed as ludicrous – we aren’t leaving for another hour and half.

12.00: I blowdry hair. Adam turns up volume on TV.

12.15: Step over Adam to get suit and dress out of wardrobe. Ask Adam if he will find iron. Adam cheerful, says of course.

12.20: Step over Adam to get to mirror. Begin curling hair. Adam puts kettle on.

12.25: Finish curling hair. Remind Adam that he said he would find iron. Says he will go when drank tea.

12.37: Adam goes to find iron. I turn off TV.

12.40: Adam returns with iron and ironing board. Props against dressing table and turns on TV. I suggest he get in shower as time is now twenty to. Adam sits back on floor.

12.42: Step over Adam to get to makeup. Ask if he could maybe sit elsewhere.

12.55: Step over Adam to get to ironing board. Iron dress and hang up. Clean teeth.

1.05: Put on dress and shoes. Get present out of case and write on card. Tell Adam it’s five past.

1.10: Cannot find bag containing jewellery. Have small fit. Send Adam out to check boot of car.

1.13: Adam returns without jewellery. Says best man is running round hotel looking for iron. I volunteer to iron Adam’s shirt while he goes in shower as it’s now quarter past. Says we have plenty of time and he can manage. Whacks iron up hot, begins ironing shirt.

1.15: Burns hole in left cuff. Curses. Turns down heat on iron, burns finger, curses, gives up, and returns iron.

1.17: Adam goes into bathroom. I find jewellery behind curtain.

1.18: Adam puts head round bathroom door, asks if I have any shaving foam.

1.20: Hear a yelp in bathroom. Adam cut himself on chin.

1.22: I check batteries in camera and directions to church. Adam shouts through that there is no hot water left.

1.23: I lay out suit, pants, socks, shoes, tie, belt, cuff links, watch, and aftershave on bed. Adam shouts through for a towel.

1.24: Adam out of bathroom. Flings clothes out of case looking for underwear and socks. Curses that he can’t find anything and I’ve moved all his stuff. I indicate outfit lying on bed.

1.26: Adam dressed. Socks on inside out and blood smeared on collar from cut chin. Everything somehow my fault. Goes into bathroom to clean teeth.

1.27: I am waiting by door. Adam emerges from bathroom holding damp flannel and wiping toothpaste stain off jacket. Ask if he has everything. Says yes, throws flannel in bathroom, opens door, we leave. Ridiculously high shoes necessitate slow walking down corridor towards lobby.

1.28: Adam runs back to room for phone and wallet.

1.29: Adam returns and amid protestations picks me up and throws me over shoulder. Runs down corridor while I yelp that dress better not crease. Puts me down at top of stairs.

1.30: Descend stairs hand in hand, arrive in lobby. Greet Jose, Preeti, and Mary, and depart for wedding.

The church was at the top of a cliff overlooking the sea; the views and scenery were stunning. Adam and I sat next to Chief and Mrs Chief; it was while waiting for the bride that Adam realised that his position in the church, at the end of a row facing the door, meant that the very first person Cara saw as she entered would be him. He asked if I wanted to swap places but just then the music began and she walked in on the arm of her dad.

She was smiling and looked beautiful in her mother’s wedding dress. As well as English the service was also partly in Irish and Polish; Marek is Polish hence so were many of the guests.

Afterwards the wedding party was lined up outside the church to greet the guests and I introduced myself to Cara’s dad, who was everything you’d expect from a proud Irish father giving his first daughter away.

“Hello! I’m Sophie, I worked with Cara in…..”

“Ah Sophie! Sophie, of course ye are, of course ye are! Great to meet ye, Sophie! And who’s this strappin’ fellah than, how are ye?!” he cried, clutching Adam’s hand and smiling broadly at us both.

At the reception his speech was one to remember and to repeat any of it here would never do it justice; twice he had to leap back up, having forgotten some important point, the first being to talk about his new son-in-law.

"Jesus, I forgot about Marek!" he cried, grabbing the microphone and hurrying back up to the front of the room.

It was an evening of eating, drinking, dancing, aching feet, and ringing ears, and we fell into bed that night at the end of the 2007 weddings, happy and exhausted.

I hope they got our gift; we left it on a windowsill.